Thursday, March 20, 2008

Amazing...

I was able to be at the birth of a very good friend last night and it was simply amazing. She asked me there on the pretense of taking photos and helping if the kids woke up, but I don't think I did a very good job at that. Her husband got up the older to watch the actual birth and the younger didn't want to leave her dad's lap when she woke up. And I don't think *anyone* would ever mistake me for a good photographer, but I hope I got enough pics for her. Her midwife was wonderful and she did such a good job. I hope at least, that I wasn't a hindrance. Once I got there, she only had about 1 1/2 hours left before baby slid out. But I knew the end would be fast based on her previous births. I spent the afternoon outside with her and our kids as her surges picked up and she was still doing really well. When I got the call during date night (we were watching the movie "Jumper") I still wasn't sure how much time we had as she had a conversation with me that lasted several minutes and she was able to talk the whole time. Then she called as I was on my way over and I knew we would see the baby before midnight.

I have now been privileged to be a part of one homebirth and watch another. One thing that strikes me is the peaceful way that everything is handled. It was spiritual and intimate and serene, even though work is being done. No rushing around, no yelling, just quiet encouragement and warm conversations. One of the things that a lot of moms preparing for homebirth or unmedicated birth is try to watch as many births as possible. I've noticed in one of my watching binges, that I need to turn some of the videos off because it feels too intimate to be watching. Almost like a voyeur or peeping tom. this too felt very intimate but not wrong as I had been invited into the birth nest. It was an honor.

Women need to see THIS kind of birth. Young women who have never given birth need to be present at their mother's, sisters, aunt's and friends births to see the kind of power and ability in birth. They need to be invited to the birth nest of people to whom they are very close to witness what their bodies are capable of. Women who have lost faith in their bodies and women who haven't need to take care of each other and support each other and be a part of one another's birthing. That is the only way we can ever hope to fix what has happened in our culture. Now I am not advocating a large crowd at unmedicated births, I mean, birthing women are working hard and need to concentrate. With Buggy, I know that I didn't want anyone there but my midwife, doula, and husband. I also feel that this birth I want my "Womenfolk" around me. I want my sisters at my birth. I want women that I love and that love me to be there and lend support. Not a bunch of people, but a few loved ones around me.

I didn't mean to write a soapbox, but maybe I needed to. It was just so *right* to see that little family welcome a new member and fall in love last night. That's how it is supposed to happen.

Congrats, Doreen!

2 comments:

Doreen said...

Aw, thanks! I'm so glad you were able to come over. It was just perfect. As were the pictures you took. Thanks so much! And you're absolutely right, birth is so powerful and amazing. We all need to share our stories. I keep thinking about last night, and I just have to laugh that I did the whole "I'm done with this, never mind, I'm leaving" thing during transition. You always read about it being so typical, but this was the first time I actually experienced that feeling of just wanting to run away. Anyway, thanks again for taking the time to come over. I just told Dave today I don't really need a lot of physical support during labor (except during transition and pushing), I just like having a few people around to keep me entertained. :o)

Science Teacher Mommy said...

Lovely. My favorite birth was the one my good friend was at. I just wish my labor weren't so dang long. I don't ever dialate past a one until my contractions are already fairly intense. Still I'd like to find the right coach/friend and midwife and birthing center (I can't do this at home) if there is a baby #4 and give it one more go. I'd like to join the ranks of those women I respect the most. :)

I wrote a very cool birthing story about Scallywag's birth. Send me an email (so I have your address) and I'll send it to you. If you don't have my email, send me one at sister.missionary@hotmail.com